He Don't Bring Me Flowers.....

Flowers. This is going to be controversial in my opinion here but I have always been a bit funny/weird/bewildered by them. Don't get me wrong, I have had plenty of flowers sent to me for different reasons over the years and I truly believe the sentiment from the people sending them has always been heartfelt and I have appreciated every single bunch...but I just don't get it!!.



When I met my husband I told him straight away that I don't "do" flowers. He of course thought I was sending some strange female reverse psychology message and proceeded to buy me them and usually for no reason at all. And not just you run of the mill "picked up on my way home from the local BP" jobby's, these were beautiful bouquets from florists that cost him a fortune. And I think there in lies the problem. And please do not hate me for saying this but, I think they are a bit of waste of money. There I said it. Please keep reading....



Birthday flowers. I received flowers today for my birthday (which is tomorrow...more on that later) from my Uncle in the UK. They are absolutely beautiful, and a lovely thought. And it is the thought I am appreciative of because it means I have had someone think about me and remember me. However, as I do not receive flowers very often I didn't have a big enough vase for them and proceeded to hack at them, pulled a few bits out and arrange them in the shorter vase that I did have available. And arrange them very badly indeed. All I could think of was that my friend who is a florist would be horrified. So now I have this weird looking vase of flowers. They smell divine but I fear I may get a slight headache from the perfume. And I know that in a weeks time they would have all died (reminding me in the meantime that I am getting older) cause I wouldn't have changed the water. They would have dropped leaves and pollen which is impossible to remove from anything let alone the new top I got for my birthday which would have got a smear of the pollen on it from brushing past. And there will still be a smell coming from them, but it will be the smell of the rotting water. So then I will finally throw them out (after complaining about the pollen & smell everyday till they are thrown out) put the vase next to the sink to be bleached cause of the smell and the brown ring that has occurred and then that's it.



I feel the same about bereavement flowers, for most of the reasons above. But also, just them hanging around reminds you everyday of the awful thing you have just experienced. And then they too die. Flowers for babies...again no use, just have to try and find room in the car to get them home and its just more work for the new mum after the whole pollen falling etc has happened. New mums can barely throw away the pile of nappy bags piling up at the back door for the "big" bin outside let alone 6 bunches of dead flowers now smelling worse than the nappies!



But by far are the worst flowers are the "I'm Sorry" flowers! I told my husband in the beginning that if he really wanted to buy me flowers after I explained all my reasons above as to why it would be a waste, he should NEVER under any circumstances buy me flowers as an apology. The Sorry Flowers are usually sent, lets be honest, when something pretty big has gone down. And most women want to TALK about it not get flowers. A man who gave me sorry flowers would be chucked quicker than the flowers would be!



I know, I have read this back and admit that I do sound extremely ungrateful. I am really not. Honest. I just think at the end of the day they are expensive and something more original would be more exciting and memorable and preferably something that doesn't die. Maybe that's it...maybe I don't like gifts that die! Please if you are reading this and have ever sent me flowers don't think I have not gladly received them, I have and love you for sending them...even if the above was floating around in my subconscious.



Before my hubby and I were married we lived in a townhouse. And one day I came home and he had put m&m's all the way up the stairs in a little trail for me to follow to where he just hugged me and told me he loved me. Now ask me if I remember any of the flowers he bought me.....