Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Making Excuses.

She calls you at the last minute to cancel your plans together even though you thought they were set in stone for months. She says she 'isn't feeling great'. Regardless of the fact that you have organised a baby sitter had to for go having dinner with the family thinking you were grabbing a bite while you were out. And you sigh because this isn't the first time.

Later you find out she went out partying with someone else. A pattern she follows of more fun somewhere else!

No bother, you again excuse her poor behaviour because, hey, you've been friends for a long time and it's just the way she is.

She turns up at your doorstep and asks to stay. She has no where to go. You tell her 'just for a week'. She keeps you up every night while she's downing a bottle or two of wine (even though your not drinking) telling you yet again how broke and in debt she is, that her boss is picking on her, how 'That Girl' is a b**ch and how 'lucky' you are to have what you have.

Regardless of the fact that you have to get up at the crack of dawn and feed a baby. And that you too have to go to work because being 'lucky' means having to work part-time as well as being a mum.

Again you give advice knowing full well it won't be taken and you will hear the same story again in a few months because god forbid if she should change her ways. She says she's broke but hey, aren't they new shoes? And didn't you just buy two bottles of wine and instead of eating the dinner I made you, order pizza because now you have the munchies?

No bother, you again excuse her poor behaviour because, hey, you've been friends for a long time and it's just 'the way she is'.

You go out with her to a pub or a club even though that's not your scene anymore. She again consumes more alcohol than needed. She wants a 'man' but stand aloof and looks down her nose at any guy that comes along. You make chit chat with a guy standing near and all of a sudden she's not talking to you because you should have known telepathically that she wanted to get to know him. So you introduce them, she is all over him and he runs a mile. Apparently its 'your' fault. You want to go home and she says your spoiling 'her' fun. You get her inside and put her to bed while you 'don't' sleep on the couch. The next morning she wakes and says what an awesome night that was and you should both go out together more often.


No bother, you again excuse her poor behaviour because, hey, you've been friends for a long time and it's just 'the way she is'.

And then there the time that you had to go and pick her up after a incoherent phone call she makes to you doesn't know where she is so is wandering around. Of course you go and get her. She would do it for you. Right?

Or how she hasn't been able to hold down a job or keep the many 'acquaintances' she has had over the years because someone is always 'out to get her'. But she would be there for you too. Wouldn't she?

You listen to her whine and complain about some of her friends and you think to yourself "hey what is she saying about me when I am not around?" Couples are 'boring' but as soon as there is someone new on her scene you don't hear from her for weeks.

She tells you that you are the only one who 'gets her'. Actually your the only one who will put up with her crap.

But you know that one day, when yet again her crap comes a knocking you would have had enough. You will tell her the truth. But the truth is hard to swallow especially from someone who always looked the other way.

Will it matter to her that you always excused her poor behaviour or that you've been friends for such a long time? Will she give a crap that there is history there? Or will you just be chalked up as just another aqcuaintince in a long line before you.

But by telling the truth you will never get the phone call cancelling your plans, or drunk calls to pick her up. You will never 'annoy' her again by chatting to the guy she thinks is 'hers' or have to stay up late listening to her woes which she could change but never does.

Your shoulders will feel lighter but your friendship heart will hurt. Because instead of holding on to the one thing that was constant, she will, once she is told the truth, set you adrift.

So do you take the risk? Do you tell the truth or keep making the excuses?

'She' is a work of fiction, but if 'She' was real - what would you do?


Related Posts with Thumbnails